Have a little faith...

I've been very careful about our budget this last year and a half. I've been on time with bills and kept us happily afloat without too much struggle. In September, we had to take a few more days off than we expected and that seemed to put is in a bit of a bind. So, last week, when I thought we'd be struggling a bit at the end of this week to cover our bills, I figured I'd have to call for 7 day extensions and do my best to balance everything. Then today I finally put myself to task and I was quietly rewarded with more than what I thought we'd had in the bank, and I wasn't as behind as I thought. I've been more on top of the budget than I realized and it was a blessing in disguise, or in plain sight, I was just too busy with kids and house and schedules to sit and to figure it all out. On Saturday last, as soon as I worried it might be an issue, I also decided to let go, and trust that because of how hard I've been working, how diligent and consistent I've been, that I will be patient, not stress and do what needed to get done, and somehow we'd be okay.

You know what?

We are, and always have been, and always will be, as long as we have faith knowing no matter what, it is so. I choose to think this way... I choose to not let stress and outward issues put me in a negative mindset.

It was a good week, and at the end of it, I'm better off than I started. I attest this to the power of positive thinking. I've been choosing to be positive, and to look forward, not back. And I don't stress out as much. It's been really good. And even when the chips are down and I see nothing but bleak outcomes, I am choosing to shrug off what I cannot control. Things will happen as they intend to, and I don't have to let it ruin me emotionally. It's been a good week.

I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. Right now, I set myself to dream softly in the comfort of my bed and choose to live quietly.

What is your source?

When you feel the need to just let go.

Just let it go already.

Wasting my breath on people/things/situations/events that are better left in the past isn't worth it to me. What I have right here, right now is like gold, platinum, the most perfect diamond, and will be cherished like a delicate petal of the most rare kind of flower, and will never be taken for granted. I write this blog because it means something to me to share when I find value in the simple things in life. To find understanding in the most difficult situations and to grow through tragedy, heartache, love and love lost. I won't be made to feel less of a person, I won't be brought down to the levels of pettiness and ignorance. I know who I am. It's taken me a journey to get here, but here I am, and I continue forward with my head up, my eyes open and my heart free. 

I let go of others venom, hate, lies and anger, it is theirs to behold, and I am free of it because I choose to be. I do not believe in violence, but I believe in self defense. If I have wronged people, hurt people, made them feel less human, made them feel devalued, if I have done any of these things, then I am sorry that I would have done so. If it was merely the actions of others that brought it upon themselves, then I have no place there. Whatever actions I have taken against, or lack there of, I take full responsibility for. Whether I intentionally or unintentionally hurt the ones I cared about, it was never my intention. 

“The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.”

Albert Camus

In one thing I lack understanding; I cannot fathom the malicious intent to hurt, mame, kill, harm, obliterate another... until I have seen the necessity of it through the evils of this world. I am not reconciled that an eye for an eye should stand firm against those that do malicious intent to others. And if I see this as a way to live, then I too must and will live by this. For what goes around comes around, and karma, while not inherently good or evil, will certainly take it's measure of you and me. For what we fathom and create, so we receive. What we put out in the world, we will certainly obtain. So I take the words that are thrown at me and I turn the other cheek. I do not flinch. I do not waver. I stand firm. Do your worst, and should I crumble and you feel victorious, then it was meant to be.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”

Douglas Adams  What is your source?