I find I have this bad habit. I tend to write a lot when things are bad. When I should be taking time to sort my thoughts and emotions, I find an easy way to verbally vomit all over a page or screen and let the thoughts and opinions fall where they may. Not the best therapy but certainly cheaper. What I do that's even worse in my opinion? When things are good, I do not write at all.
Well, today, things are good.
And... I am writing about it.
It's not easy to find a source when you're frustrated, at your wits end, desperate, wanting. It's not easy to find fulfillment in something greater than you when you cannot see past your own issues and challenges. And when things are good, it is all too easily forgotten to look up to your higher power and say a simple "Thank you."
Here I am today, and things are good. Sure each day has it's own challenges and moments of "ARRRGGGHH!!" but I am in a good place emotionally. It's been a long tough road, but in the grand scheme of things, it's been a cake walk. It is tough to explain unless you've been there. Sure there are the people who have it worse than I do. But my challenges this year have been hard in my viewpoint. It's what I WENT through, what I OVERCAME, and those things are HUGE to me. It's shown me that I can truly overcome whatever life throws at me and still have my sanity.
I still find myself worrying about the future, if I'll be able to sustain my life where I am. Move up and not down. But I try not to let these little worries bog me down. I'm in a good place, and hopefully soon I'll be in a better one.
Whoever is looking out for me and mine up there, thank you. I'm grateful for your guidance. I don't know of anything better to call you, other than you are my source.
What's your source?
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