Yesterday I thought the roof had caved in. When all the money we were saving the last four weeks since my husband started his new job was taken by Child Support, clearing our back account entirely, I thought I was just done. They also garnished his wages ON TOP of that. He's never been a dead beat dad. He's paid off one back debt, then it was re-evaluated to be more than the original, as he was making more money (back 8 years ago) so we were again paying off a back debt on top of current debt. It's always put us behind the 8 ball financially, but we never complained. When it came to making his truck payments or his child support payments, which were equal in amount, he gave up the truck. It was always a priority to him to pay his child support. He's always worked with the governing agency, even when he was getting child support taken out in 2 STATES for the same kid. The current support was done in 2009 when she turned 18 and graduated HS. He lost his job in June of 09 and we were on gov't assistance until he got work last month. We've crossed our T's, dotted our I's, and still, they took everything. It felt like such a slap in the face after struggling for so long. And then to speak to him on the phone like he was a dead beat when he called to find out why they took it all and left us NOTHING to live on.
Needless to say it was a low blow and was something that caused both my husband and I great distress, this just a week away from his 50th birthday and our 8th handfasting anniversary. We were planning on a combined celebratory evening at a nice dinner with our two boys. Now, we have to find "free" and budgeted ways to celebrate with the few dollars we had left in our wallets. It plain sucks.
When I felt like the other shoe was about to drop, when I just couldn't take one more hit, I decided, in my sheer hopeless frustration, to call Martha.
Martha is our counselor. She's been the best damn counselor we've ever had, either individually or collectively.
Anyhow, I called Martha, in tears, and left a message, which she returned less than 15 minutes later to say she would call me back in an hour. By that time my husband was home and not only did I get to speak to Martha but so did he. And by the time we were done on the phone, we both, although still highly perturbed, had a renewed perspective.
He still had a job and would get paid in 2 weeks again. And then in another 2 weeks and so on.
We still had our health, and each other, and our two boys.
Once they are paid the last 900 some dollars, it's done. Never to be revisited again!!
Bottom line, when I felt I had nothing more, no one to gain any perspective or understanding from, no one else who could help me feel I was stronger than I was, I had Martha. And for that I am truly truly grateful!
Bottom line, it's all really small stuff when you stand back and take a good long look.
So, alas, the roof did not fall in, just a couple shingles flew off, but they are easily and quickly replaced.
After I talked to Martha, I then talked to my cousin, who offered to help, and then my mom who also offered to help, and friends, who offered words of encouragement, and I realized, this too shall pass, and we are richer than any amount of money we earn.
My source grows stronger every day that I realize I have more than just what is inside me to keep me going. I have more than what I've learned from the bitter jerks of the world. It takes time, it takes patience and a tenacity which I have developed over the years of being kicked in the head. But I take responsibility over the choices I've made that have brought me here. If I didn't, I would never have learned what I know now.
What is your source?
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